Pride Goeth Forth
Will it be Heels or Mercy?
I owe my store a mountain of credit card debt. This Pride, you get to decide how much I suffer paying it down.
On June 27th, Keys goes to Lansing Pride. We've been every year! This year, I thought it might be fun to show up in full drag. If we can raise at least $2,000 towards paying off Keys' debt, I'll do it.
But what on earth should I put on my poor little feet?
In one corner: a pair of rhinestone platform heels tall enough to count as a religious experience. A little dangerous. Okay ... a LOT dangerous. I wore them to the Witches Ball a couple years ago, so I can testify to the danger.
In the other corner: mercy, and my Odin-touched blue barefoot sandals that will keep me on my feet and singing along to all the songs with no pain.
You vote with your dollars. Two lanes, Heels On and Mercy. Whichever is ahead at 9pm on Friday, June 26, 2026 decides what I wear. Every cent in both lanes goes straight toward paying off the store's debt. So there's no wrong way to give; which version of Solinox do you think will be more entertaining?
The Tally
Updated daily. Refresh to watch me sweat.
It's not just about one queer witch in heels anymore. Every thousand dollars past the goal summons another one! And it's going to be so much fun to watch you guess who...
$2000
I go to Pride in full drag. You decide my footwear by which bin you donate to.
$3000
A second witch joins me. They know who they are. Soon, so will you.
$4000
A third. This is becoming a procession.
$5000
You guessed it, there's a fourth one waiting in line. At this point, it's not just a fundraiser, it's a whole coven on the march, summoned by YOU.
On the way there:
$500
Unlocks photographic evidence that I have in fact worn these heels before. At a Ball, even.
$1000
Unlocks a makeup test.
$1500
Unlocks a sneak peek of my outfit plan. Yes, I'm bribing you with my own dignity. Is it working?
THE RULES:
- I'm gonna be there no matter what. If we raise at least $2000, I will be in drag. (King or Queen? Depends on how I feel that day!)
- Heels win -> I totter in to Pride on six inches of sparkly.
- Mercy wins -> I march in safe and confident and STILL FABULOUS.
- If Heels win, the strut is a photo moment, not a marathon. My faulty collagen is already trying to register a formal complaint. You're funding a glorious catwalk, not an entire day waiting to see if we pay off the ER doc's mortgage.
This is a fundraiser for a queer-owned small business. Every dollar raised goes directly toward paying off credit card debt held by Keys.